I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
