No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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