What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
