Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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