i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
