Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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