i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
