i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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