just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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