Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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