I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
