The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
