ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
