and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
