how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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