My brain says no but my pants say off.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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