Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
