Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
