I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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