He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
