I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
