I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
