Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
