Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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