i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Even my vagina gasped.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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