I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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