I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
