Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
