it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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