I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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