Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
