I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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