she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
