what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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