So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
