sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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