Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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