You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
