I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
