New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
