Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
