then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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