Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
