belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
