i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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