I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
