he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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