bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
