2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
