I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
that may or may not have been my penis.
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